A Trainee Accountant and His Glossary Of Terms

  • Sumo

As is the hall-mark of any profession, an organisation that is a teeming hub of trainee accountants (also called articled clerks), is characterized by its own inimitable share of terms and phrases,at once unique and uncanny. These ingenious phrases coined by many a sharp acumen have been perfected, refined and modified over many years and are used to denote various circumstances and moods. So it is time to sit back, relax and enjoy the beginner’s guide to a Trainee Accountant’s ‘Glossary Of Terms’

  • BATHI-BREAK: A smoker’s delight, this phrase suggests taking unscheduled and surreptitious breaks in between working  hours to give vent to the irresistible vice of smoking. The rendezvous is more often than not a terrace, or the stairway leading to the terrace, or a strategically selected & accommodating tea shop round the corner.
  • BOUNCERHaving absolutely no relation whatsoever to the state of mind prevalent in a fast bowler, this term is used to test the innovative ability of a trainee accountant when pushed into a tricky corner. A classic situation under which a Bouncer is encountered is when there arises a communication gap between an articled clerk and his Manager, as a result of which the former cannot comprehend the latter’s instructions. However a Bouncer can be tackled by the subtle employment of a Googly (Please refer to GOOGLY below)
  • BOWLED: Yet another example of the intricate relationship between a nationally obsessed game and the trainee accountant’s career plight. This refers to an utterly non-salvageable and a thoroughly demoralizing state wherein the trainee accountant is ravaged and lambasted into total submission for having committed a blatant and supposedly intolerable lapse in the line of duty. A very depressing and pitiful position to be in. Common variants include rammed, jacked, and screwed.
  •  BUGGER: This is one word that brooks universal application and is the second most frequently employed term (the first one without an iota of doubt being a four lettered word). Typically employed as a mode of greeting, this word is accompanied by vigorous handshakes and back-slapping
  • CHAMPION: A most sarcastic and sardonic epithet. When employed, it usually denotes a connotation which is diametrically opposite to the original meaning of the term. In order to earn the title of a Champion, a Trainee Accountant has to perform a task in such a ridiculous fashion, that it almost transcends the realms of stupidity. For eg. reaching a designated place of audit inspection a day after the scheduled date.
  • CORNER HOUSE: Bears no relation whatsoever to the famed chain of mouth watering ice-cream parlours. This refers to the Rest Room which often is a hot-bed wherein conspiracies are deliberated; injustices debated and rumours deliberated upon. Also doubles up as a plumber’s nightmare
  • GOOGLY: A perfect antidote to the ‘Bouncer’, Googly refers to a finely concocted fabrication or an authentic sounding explanation which is expertly and deftly employed to wriggle out of a seemingly impossible situation. A crafty and well disguised googly more often than not yields desirable results. However this art takes a considerable amount of time and effort before it can attain a level of perfection. (Please see ‘Bouncer’ above)
  • GOLI: A vernacular word for marbles (in both Tamil and Kannada), Goli is an extremely crude and invariably undesired variant of the ‘Googly’. While a ‘Googly’ has as its edifice a clever and ingenious layering of facts, ‘Goli’ represents a plain and stupid attempt at total distortion of facts. An inevitable consequence of employing a ‘Goli’ is acute embarrassment as the culprit’s stupidity shines through and he/she is thoroughly exposed. Taking into considerations the ill effects, ‘Golis’ are rarely employed.
  • INVESTMENT:  A mischievous synonym being AS 13 (the Accounting Standard dealing with Accounting for Investments), this is the single most controversial terminology, which when employed, either with reckless abandon or without exercising abundant caution, can lead to catastrophic consequences. This represents the love interest nursed and nurtured by a Trainee Accountant towards one of his/her peers (mostly), subordinate (frequently) or even a senior (remotely), and the time, effort and expenditure ‘invested’ in furthering such a love interest.
  • NINJA: The highest and unparalleled degree of praise and encomium that can be showered upon a person. Impeccable knowledge, incredible skills and incredulous inter-personal skills are compulsory qualifications. Once a NINJA, always a ‘NINJA’ is a refrain, even though on rare occasions a NINJA can be displaced from his/her esteemed pedestal on account of an inexplicable reduction and diminution of prowess. The most direct cause of a ‘NINJA displacement’ is a jilted love or a scorned lover. A pressing variant of the NINJA is ‘SIMPLY NINJA’.
  • OG: The expansion of this acronym reads as “Office General”. This ‘verb’ derivative of this terminology is ‘Ogeing’. This typically signifies the idle time spent in office due to a welcoming absence of work necessitated by both extraneous and internal factors. The more the number of Trainee Accountants ‘ogeing’, the merrier and livelier is the environment. A synonym abbreviation is ‘TP’, which when expanded reads as ‘Time Pass’
  • PUNTER: Does not denote either Ricky Ponting or betting and gambling on race horses in a Derby. This word is used to praise the intellectual/audit skills displayed by a Trainee Accountant who displays a maturity beyond his/her age. This word attains special significance and enhances the status of the target, when employed by the target’s superiors. An understandable synonym is ‘Stud’
  • R&D: An abbreviation for ‘Research & Development’, this refers to digging deeper than an earthworm into issues that do not even require a superficial analysis. Also referred to as ‘tunneling’ ‘drilling’ and ‘boring’. Compulsive R&D ‘specialists’ are termed as ‘bore-wells’
  • SAAPAD: A Tamil word, which when literally translated means food. Usually used when any superior gives an extended piece of his mind to a hapless Trainee Accountant. The perceived rationale underlying the usage of this particular term is that, a verbal lashing delivered just prior to the lunch hour, literally obliterates the need to partake food as the appetite is unsympathetically and brutally killed. However it needs to be noted that ‘Saapad’ is an integral part of every Trainee Accountant’s destiny. It can neither be evaded not avoided, but can with the right amount of practice, got used to.
  • SIMPLY NINJA:  Please refer to ‘Ninja’ above
  • STUD: Refer to ‘Punter’ above

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